No issue divides society down the middle like that of homosexuality. Now I consider the kind of propaganda employed by the religious right that I have seen to be repulsive, excessive, and the kind of thing they would not dare to attempt against someone for being black (even though, in the past, the church oppressed the black people, even segregating them into ghetto churches). No church would want to speak today as those churches spoke in the past, because it really does sound vulgar and disgusting today to go back in time and listen to some of the things those churches used to say, back in the days when they felt confident that they could sin and get away with it scot free. It is my judgment, based on my experience, that there are a lot of churches that simply sin as much as they can, in more ways than I would care to mention here, and that churches sin as much they can, in particular preachers, who are constantly sinning in some cases, have been doing so for years, and will still be doing when Yahweh gets here, which serves them right, by the way. (They weren't expecting that, because, if the truth be told, as all that sinning they do demonstrates, they are dark and godless at heart, not surprising then really, given all that sinning preachers constantly do without respite, twenty four hours a day somewhere on the globe.
Now it is evident that the kind of deceitful perjury about the Bible practiced by preachers, the way that preachers appear to feel nothing and cannot be moved by a just cause (take that starved baby problem that has never caught fire in the church, even though they were taught about it, and then had years to work something out. Even though preachers thus are obviously cruel in their hearts, and without fear of Yahweh, that does not stop them from condemning others to the ghastly fate of an eternity of burning, while simply ignoring their own obvious sinfulness and hypocrisy (not to mention that dead corruption that lives inside of them instead of warm affections and the wonder and love of life -I can notice that they are dead just by watching them). It would seem then that these judges b elieve themselves to be above the law of common decency, and naturally, the truly evil people, and those who have or give orgasms are the ones who must be condemned and be burned and burned and burned according to what comes pouring out through the sanctified lips of preachers. This is cruel and vicious and damages and warps a person's mind both the think of God this way or to think of justice, freedom, dignity, fairness and then to deny these things to another human being, and this usually in order to substitute some worthless dogma, this trade off of human life in exchange for perjury about the Bible just exactly the kind of unfeeling, dead, callous judgment you can expect from preachers who, judging by their hostility and cruelty to the human race, and the easy way such vicious things pour from their lips, are filled with cruel, dead, unfeeling, unaffectionate, dried up souls, which is why such cruel and disgusting judgments come pouring out of them. They are full of it, and their mouths are full of it, and they don't remember or fear Yahweh, and when they find, much to their surprise, that they have been caught red handed by Yahweh while they were peddling that apple for Satan the Devil, and disobeying the warnings of prophets, well in that case it certainly serves them right, and I have been thinking that I feel little sympathy for those churches, or for their coming sufferings on a bed of pain, because the way you treat others is the way Yahweh will treat you, and they will be getting what they deserve. Keep in mind that they will be enjoying in full that odiously disgusting experience that decent people must endure day after endless day - that experience of being damned by their own judgments, because you see they are full of sin themselves, and their own condemnations therefore seem to be the fair price to be demanded. When you are on the wrong side of Yahweh, your life will be a living hell, and when you are so far on the wrong side of Yahweh, having looked at other human beings and condemned them to eternal burnings in your heart, well then your life will be a l.iving hell, while you wait to go to hell yourself, in fulfillment of that Greatest of All Laws of the Kingdom of Yahweh, which states that you will be treated the way you treat others. (Keep that in mind later, before you feel that you have something to complain about).
Yes, preachers are all to often odiously disgusting to listen to, unless you are that type of person who likes to listen to someone with a warp mind (who will constantly be deceiving people and lying about the Bible, not to mention pursuing their own selfish greedy gain). Yes, it is thoroughly, and I do mean thoroughly disgusting to see lack of morals in the pulpit, lack of humanity, no regard for justice, no love for anyone or anything except those sterile, and disgusting, Christian dogmas, the only thing such hardened, unloving preachers can ever really love (being as I mentioned, full of deadness and corruption on the inside, and thus unable to experience such good things as ordinary affection, compassion, and, as you can tell by how easily they light hell fires, and how easily they are prepared to throw people into hell fires, for the sake of dogma, they have no empathy or all the other such things that make life in Eden worth living. It is just scandalous to someone like me, I must say, and as for putting up with the mindless persecutions practiced by such deadened and unloving religious dogmatics is something I intend to do...
Now when these preachers go on the attack against homosexuals, statistics show, that despite the fact that their propaganda is odiously lewd and offensive, those churches who put out that insulting and degrading and offensive propaganda can still get the support of close to half the population. Now if you tried printing up such pamphlets, with the difference that this time the target of the hate campaign and the poisonous vitriol would be black people, let's say, like it used to be before the church cleaned up its act, well it is hard to imagine the church getting fifty per cent support any more for something that disgusting (even though it was once possible for them to do that very thing in the past).
Now, no one wants to be on the receiving end of those attacks launched by the church, and no one certainly wants to be the one hated by fifty per cent of the population when that church goes out on the attack. That would include me. However, the truth is the truth, and maybe the thing for me to do would be to attempt to talk to that fifty per cent, and perhaps take some of the edge off of that hate campaign launched by those churches against someone like me...
Yes, I don't want to talk about it, but it cannot be avoided. I remember being twelve years old, and just going through puberty, when I encountered some other boys in the school washroom looking at a magazine with pictures in it of naked women. They were breathing hard, they were sweating and trembling and their faces were beet red and covered with sweat. All that. Just from that magazine. Myself, I was completely unmoved, and this left me horrified, because I suddenly discovered that I was missing one of my parts, one my best parts, that sweating, shaking, trembling part that looked like so much fun. You know that teenage angst is bad enough to begin with, but add on the terrible mourning and horror I felt when I realized I was missing some important parts and you can understand how traumatized I was by that experience over the weeks that followed. Until the time came when I found myself sweating, turning red, shaking and shaking. I realized on that day that I did in fact have all my parts, like I was supposed to, but that women did not elicit this powerful, instinctive sexual response, but rather I responded to other men.
Now from there my life began to take all the weird twists and turns I briefly describe on this site. And the day came when somehow I was convinced to stop believing in Yahweh, the God of my childhood, as well as being the most passionate love of my childhood. I stopped believing in Yahweh and start believing in the Bible god instead. It destroyed me. I call that day the day that I ate the apple. All the love and fondness I felt for God was destroyed when confronted by the cruelty and viciousness of the christian god. Even though I was more alive in my childhood, and being Yahweh was good, I listened to a lie and the lie destroyed my spiritual health and left behind smouldering burning rubble. You see, I thought, but Yahweh was just a fantasy you had. The truth of the matter is that the living god is the christian god, so you just have to give up on childish fantasies and accept the horrible awful truth. Horrible and awful it was to me, and yet, stupidly, having been convinced by just that stupid argument I just gave you, I agree to destroy my sense of justice and to destroy Yahweh and instead went off to follow the christian god.
Now I had troubles believe me. I lived in utter terror, with no hope for escape of parole. I am still a virgin, as just one example of what I mean. Now that is fear, that is terror. I went for years without having an orgasm, unless it was a night, while I was sleeping, in which case I would do terrified penance. That's right, years and years. I fought and struggled with my sexual feelings, because I had been terrorized and destroyed by believing in that christian god. If I could not change, then at the very least, I could repress, and that is what I did. Can you imagine something like that. Now the kind of terror and subservience the ancient imperialist ideology of the colonial christian church god inspires is truly something to behold, and I imagine that during its heyday, it really contributed so much to making that church powerful and wealthy and obeyed in all the world. Combine the effects of that skillfully designed, exceedingly cruel propaganda with the effects of the powerful experiences I had, described on this site, and it is a recipe for the complete destruction of the human personality. You see, I drank down that christian concoction full strength, with no dilution. I am still a virgin. I did not have orgasms for years and years, and for decades my life was a fearful terrified struggle. I went deep into mourning. I lost all my friends. I was constantly traumatized, constantly under stress, and really, the only reason I could think of to carry on (I was deeply unhappy, constantly mourning and pining away for Yahweh) was that holding my breath and doing all those other cruel hard things I hated so much was in the end better than going eternally to hell.
What a life I have had. When you consider what I am saying here you can understand why I am found doing the things that I do today. Never, ever again do I ever want to see that truly horrible and destructive thing that happened to my personality and my spirit happen to another living human being. It truly was just that awful, every bit as horrible a life as I have just suggested, and as my friends discovered through my extreme mourning for Yahweh (all I ever did) and my weird and inexplicable virginity, constant celibacy, and the rest of it are testimony to just how powerfully destructive and harmful the experience was of leaving Yahweh to go and eat that apple being peddled by that christian god.
However, I am not on a pity party here, because it turns out that as bitter as it all was, it prepared to me to become the person I am now, and the person I am about to become. It has made me into one of the most trenchant critics of the church and their bible. It has made me into a completely loyal follower of Yahweh (and after having had that other viciously cruel experience with that other strange god I did not know, or even like, well my bond with Yahweh has been cemented with eternal super glue, you might say). I have insights other people don't have, and most of all, I have had the glory of an encounter with the Divine Presence of Yahweh, not something people do very often, and thus a great privilege, and when you consider just how great that privilege really is, it truly is enough to make me feel (and not just think) that in spite of it all and how awful it was to have my life taken away and all the simple joys destroyed, in the end I can really say that it was worth it, just for that reason alone. The insights I have, and the talents I am developing also make things seem worthwhile, in the way such things can be mused over philosophically, rather than struggled with painfully, when you have finally put such things behind you...
Now, even though I always remembered that lovely experience of being close to Yahweh in the Garden of Eden, when I was a little boy, and even though I could vividly remember how alive and healthy I felt inside, how happy, and I could still conjure up the feelings of passionate love I felt for Yahweh, when I was a contented, happy little boy, it never occurred to me to do the sensible thing and just leave that other cruel, despotic tyrant god and just go back to Yahweh, where it was good. You see, I was deceived. I was ignorant about the Bible, and unable to defend myself against the unethical and manipulative use of scriptures by preachers (and all the destruction of my personality I suffered at their not so loving, caring hands goes a long towards explaining why I am so suspicious of the motives of preachers in general, to this very day. Furthermore, after having been the recipient of their kindness and their loving concern for justice and human happiness, it goes without saying that every instinct in my body tells me to save people, in this case to save them from preachers, and from that warm affectionate hug I received from such people, all my life. They must be stopped. That will always be my position, and everything I do can be understood when you understand where I have been, how horrible and painful it was, and this really does explain why I am determined to see to it that they have a more difficult time attempting to impose something so worthless and inconsiderate on any other human being. Conflict with preachers, exposes on the Bible, protests against church theology, and church canon, these are the sorts of things you will find here, on this site, and I am giving you a little history to help you understand why it is that I am such a fervent zealot when it comes to doing such things...
Now how many kind, loving, decent human beings, who feel fond of people and just generally like them, and want to be with them, and want to see goodness and kindness and blessings for them, how many people who are like that could ever honestly want to burn another human in eternal (yes, eternal) hell fires for the crime of orgasm. Now, believe me, never having had sexual intercourse, I know how powerful such an insidious concept can be (it really is powerful enough to get a person to not have orgasms for years, or to fight and struggle, masturbation followed by penance, and another long stretch of ‘success' and no more of those sinfully wicked orgasms. But, assuming that I was to be judged by kind hearted decent people, and not ruthless pricks and deadened, unfeeling theologians, tell me now, decent people, can you really imagine any just and sensible reason to burn someone forever just because they had an ‘illegal criminal orgasm'.
Now it really is true that if such a cruel and hostile policy were to be in effect, every kind hearted, gentle, loving human being on the face of the earth would either wind up going to hell (for rebelling against the divine order by rebelling against that judgment) or they would wind up going to some ghost heaven that they could never really accept, to spend time with some god that they found appalling, and, if they were like me, they could spend forever in that Kingdom of Castrated Ghost Heaven, mourning and pining away for Yahweh, while never ever being reconciled to that other loathsome god with all the cruel and unacceptable policies.
Now most people will not accept that an orgasm is a justifiable reason to hold a lit match under a palm for five seconds, not to mention a reason for an eternity of burning hell fires. As for Paul's half baked flap jack in Romans, all I can say is that if flesh is evil, that is God's fault, and God's problem, and not mine. And really, don't you think it would be safer, and more decent, for an orgasm hating god to create creatures with no genitals, thus keeping them truly safe from orgasmic temptations, and avoiding all that messy conflict that is bound to happen when an anti=orgasm god tries to outlaw and ban orgasms. Now you might argue, book of Romans style, that this said so called ‘god' could deal with that problem by first creating genitals and orgasms, and then kindly offering salvation in the form of eternal castration, but given the fact that someone like me, for example, will find such an idea to be senselessly cruel and ridiculously stupid and given the fact that such a powerless, helpless creature as myself will never really be able to accept such warp minded and cruel treatment (and I certainly won't be able to sing songs like a canary for that marvelous ‘plan of castration') well it all seems a little much don't you think. If I never had those sinfully wicked genitals that god hates so much, I wouldn't miss them, and not having used mine for much of anything really, you can understand how I might be extra bitter about the whole affair.
It is so obvious to me when I consider the amount of destruction and pain caused to me by that christian god that such a god is no god at all, but something to be avoided at all costs. You can understand how I would feel that way if you consider the awful life I lived with that god, which is the indictment of that god, especially when I consider how healthy and happy and content I am with Yahweh. Now certain pessimistic sorts might want to start in on that same bible god argument that deceived me in the first place. They might see my faith in Yahweh, and my happiness, and for reasons peculiar to preachers and certain christians, they will of course begin plotting against my innocent faith. It would be a waste of time, and really, those churches should be trying that one on the ignorant, and those without wisdom or genuine faith, like the way I used to be.
Now the cruel stupidity of putting someone in hell for having an orgasm should be obvious to kind hearted, reasonable decent human beings who really like other people, and feel fond of them. If some church believes otherwise, as I once did, it is only because they have sinned and committed idolatry, and this was the direct consequence of that paranoid lack of faith so characteristic of humanity, judging by the way humanity has been fooled for so many long ages by such things as falsehoods and superstitions being peddled about the priestly Bible by priests and preachers (no big surprise there).
Now let us consider a homosexual orgasm. Surely here we have an orgasm where a clear crime has been committed against an identifiable victim, a crime so terrible that it deserves the very worst of the death penalties in the universe, and endless eternity of blazing hell fires. Makes sense doesn't it. Anyone feel like singing like a canary in celebration of God for that one. I mean REALLY. Do you REALLY feel like singing. Of course not. I never did much singing myself (mourning and pining away for Yahweh, yes, singing for that christian god, no).
It is typical for those churches to publish disgusting scenarios about homosexuals. You see, the church has to paint the most disgusting picture because they have that little problem of thinking up some justifiable reason to burn living human beings in hell, for something not particularly harmful or evil, that terrible crime of illegal criminal orgasm. Naturally, if you read disgusting descriptions, and attacks against the fundamental humanity of another human being, you might think for a moment, ‘they will be burning in hell.' No big surprise there.
However, let us imagine the very fondest of genuine sincere affections resulting in illegal criminal homosexual orgasm. Only the churches will be cruel enough to waste their time desperately trying to prosecute that particular crime. I, on the other hand, will be on the defense team for that one. It is so odiously disgusting, mindlessly cruel, and when you consider the sinful hypocrites, who cannot turn on a dime and suddenly start feeling love on their insides, it is a particularly worthless waste of time to even consider what they have to say, their so called contribution to morals, which turns out to be just a wickedly cruel and senseless attack against another human being at the end of it all. Now it goes without saying, that those of us who know Yahweh, and are genuinely fond of people, and who are on our way back to the Garden of Eden would never be infected by a mental condition as hostile and diseased as the condition of certain corrupt and completely dishonest, manipulative schemers in those churches who are constantly plotting against Gay people, the kind of cruel mindless dogmatism and worthless injustice and corruption which is produced by that christian god, as I found out through bitter experience myself. Such personality characteristics are not a feature of the follower of Yahweh who believes in the restoration of the Garden of Eden, and this understanding alone is enough to condemn, once and for all, that composite christian god the churches made out of bits and pieces of the Bible. Follow that God and suffer the same damage and ignorance about Yahweh and Eden as infests those churches, and damage your personality and put up with all sorts of cruel spiritual abuse in the process.
My life experience was so cruel that is has change me forever. This explains why you will find me struggling with the Bible and struggling with churches and having little regard for priests and preachers. No experience that vile ever came from God, and if it did, then there really isn't much point in living is there. This is especially true when I know both from past and present experience just how wonderful it is to be with Yahweh, God of Eden and God of the Orgasm as well. Furthermore, in the future, I intend to be involved in the perpetual struggle against those churches, and in particular against those arrogant, damaged preachers who stubbornly refuse to look at the corruption and deadness that dwells within them, and instead, in a truly wickedly hypocritical move, spend their time attacking gay people, saying slanderous things and calling down ruthless cruel curses, and doing what preachers have always been so notorious for doing throughout human history, plotting against human orgasms, in the bitterness of their ruined, cold hearts.
You know what is about to happen to those churches is something that they so richly deserve (surely that church will never live down the humiliation of leaving Yahweh and Eden only to get caught red handed by Yahweh while that church was destroying Eden and peddling that apple for Satan the Devil).
TELL THE TRUTH. Be gentle and kind and loving and generous, from the bottom of your very heart. And don't curse Eden, because, it could be the case that when you come to your senses, you might find that the Eden you've been cursing is where you really want to be....
I do not expect much from churches, because I understand the soul destroying mind numbing terrors of that christian god of those churches. Those churches can sin, and stay safe that way, which is ridiculous, but, because churches have no faith in Yahweh, don't even remember or recognize Yahweh. They will be afraid in those churches, and it just serves them right. Live and learn. As for me, I am walking with Yahweh, and the most pessimistic, dour sorts in those churches can watch me and see how things work out for the man who has the faith to actually start walking with Yahweh, back to Eden, instead of following that christian god into castrated ghost heaven. Those churches will stay in those familiar and comfortable church sins, the kind of sins that churches feel won't land a person in hell, and as for me I will blazing a new trail, a trail perhaps not suitable for churches, but certainly more than suitable as a path for those who genuinely love people, rejoice in kindness and goodness shown to people, the very kind of people you would be most likely to find on that forbidden road to the Garden of Eden, celebrating Eden with Yahweh, celebrating and loving humanity, instead of oppressing them and hating what it means to be human. Those churches can be afraid and sit on the sidelines and watch what happens in the end to those with faith and gentle judgments and generosity to the human race. Heaven or an eternity in hell....