Message 1 - 4 AM
It is Sunday at 2 AM am I have just awoken from an eleven hour sleep, to find myself waiting for YAHWEH on Earth Day, 2001. What an interesting conjunction of days we have here. Easter, which some of you might remember was just trashed by yours truly. And then a bit of a pause for five days so we could do something similar to the Summit of the Americas, and now its Earth Day. This is YAHWEH on the march, folks. That cannot be coincidence. Earth day. Now if only I could figure out what that means to YAHWEH.
You know I am completely powerless and helpless before YAHWEH. If I find myself feeling nervous and worried, I just remind myself that I love YAHWEH, and so somehow things have to work out right for me in the end. I don't need to be a Zerubabbel, and given the intense amount of stress this has always caused me, I would consider myself fortunate to be nobody at all. If I should become a full fledged Zerubabbel when this is all over, I have that feeling that I can look forward to a lifetime of humiliations and punishments, because I am just that incompetent and stupid, and even though, having suffered one public humiliation and one public punishment after another, including yesterday, well I know that I could do it, you know, just dust myself off and carry on, but I can't say I look forward to it. Those of you who are familiar with my history would know what I mean. It has been one painful humiliation after one disappointment after one severe punishment after another. I have to accept it, and you know, given that I am so high up, I do accept it, and it really has never meant much to me at the end of it all. I am still here, and I am still aching for YAHWEH. Yes, better by far to be an absolute nobody in YAHWEH's universe. But for me that is not how it turned out.
Well what a life I have had. I have been sitting rolling around in my mind, maybe I am having a pity party here, I don't know. I just want to come down off my mountain top and just be a weak, useless human being for a while. Not worrying about every single word that comes out of my mouth. And you know, maybe we will just do it that way. Words will come flowing out of my mouth, and then I will be publically pounded to a pulp by YAHWEH, which wouldn't be a new experience, and I would dust myself, and carry on. Get used to it, I suppose. You know something - after having been through that experience of being pounded to dust over and over and over again in full public view, it doesn't even really bother me all that much anymore. Like take yesterday, for example. Par for the course. Maybe YAHWEH pound me to a pulp, in public, every single time. And I will back right away. Still loving YAHWEH, still yearning for the same things I always have before. If there is one thing that bothers me about it, it is just how people around me can be such a bunch of ruthless pricks whenever anything like that happens. They celebrate. Take our world leaders and that famous photo. God, they were happy. It always happens like that, and I am warning anyone who listens to me. YAHWEH is always willing to crush those who want righteousness, and give joy, joy, joy to those who do what is wrong. Yes, that is the classic YAHWEH punishment. Yes, even on a really big day like today, Earth Day, the cap stone to that Easter thing that YESHUA did to the church, and the cap stone to this Summit of the Americas, and the capstone to everything that I ever did in my life and everything that has ever ever happenned to me during that time. Or is it?
Now when things like that happen to me, I never understand them until later, when it all comes together and makes sense. But let me assume the worst, and once again that Zerubabbel is so incompetent and good for nothing that he will have to be crushed to dust bringing joy and rejoicing to the powerful, who were starting to worry that maybe it was their turn to try to do that punished, humiliated, crushed Zerubabbel thing themselves. Yes, they will rejoice again as they always have before, preachers in the pulpits accross the land rejoicing, like they did all those other times before (especially last Easter 2000, which was something they really enjoyed. I swear no one has ever been so ruthlessly crushed or so publically humiliated as I was. What I can never understand is why they rejoice in things like that. I wouldn't. and you know, why do they bother celebrating over my many falls. I am always back later. And I will be again, too, on Monday morning, if for some reason I don't understand now it has been dictated that once again Zerubabbel is to be crushed to dust in public. Maybe that is the way we are going to do it. One Easter after another until finally finally I get it right.
Or until finally you get it right. Who knows. Or maybe it will just be time for some genuine grace, and it will all happen to a bunch of people who certainly did not deserve it, and never could have earned it, even if we waited for a thousand Easters, and just kept doing it over and over and over again. Well, I don't really know, although my gut instinct tells me that its over today, on Sunday, on Earth Day, somehow its all over today, finally, at long long last, its over. You see its four in the morning and I have not yet gone to see what the judgment of God against me and against this planet is going to be this time. I have never seen mercy, and I guess like so many of you people, like those protestors in the park, I don't really 'feel' the coming of mercy, but it would be to strange and unfamiliar. To foreign to this place. Yes mercy is so far from this place, it is impossible to preach to people who can never ever believe something so beautiful could ever happen even when they begin to see it unfolding before their very eyes. Unqualified mercy. Mercy. How unbelievable. No wonder no one ever listens to a prophet of YAHWEH. It is to far away from the ruthless prickery we all experience countless times every single day of our life. Its the plot of that Satan the Devil, and it works. Show no mercy. Be relentlessly wicked and ruthless. Just do it over and over and over and even in the worst of times, with the sorriest of the lowest victims, especially then, show no mercy. Crush the hope in God and crush the spirits of every living thing on the planet. Works too. Who remembers God now? Who could believe the kind of things you people have been hearing? After enduring the spiritual assualts aimed at you by ruthless wickedness how can you ever believe anything again. The perfect plan, if you happen to be Satan the Devil. Works good. You people are certainly ruined and in a spiritual heap of rubble, as far as I have seen during my lifetime. And yes, even my spirit has been so crushed by the constant ruthless prickery that greets my every word and my every move, and always always always has. Mercy is a strange thing to me, mercy, grace, love, and peace, those foreign and absurd sounding concepts. Yes, even the god of this place is a ruthless good for nothing prick, a mind numbing dogmatic, unconcerned with the sufferings of the planet. It spreads like a cancer that ruthless prickery, and becomes a kind of self fulfilling godless prophecy. That doesn't make it all right, nor does it make it true, but it does make it feel right and feel true, and that is what really seems to matter to people. You can't me hear me, for that very reason. You are deaf. Your ears are open, but you hear nothing. Your eyes are open but you can see nothing...
Message 2 - 4:30 AM
Well I just checked the schedule for that Summit of the Americas thing, and it doesn't get started again for another two and half hours as I am writing this down. So I have some time to kill, and I thought I would do it by musing a little more, sharing a few thoughts.
Now, first, to those politicians. You do have a problem with being good, when the people who vote want you to be evil, now isn't that true? And while being ruthless and doing what is evil to some unfortunate human being might be the only thing to do, you know, unless you just want them to sack you and vote for another ruthless prick, you might want to decide to be a one term wonder and do what is right, anyway. Or be some small party, devoted to the good, that never has power, but at least maintains some level of integrity. Since this is the case, it would be unfair for YAHWEH to dole out all the punishments exclusively on you. No, those punishments will be doled out on your country, and all all those voters who keep voting for ruthless pricks, and who won't vote for them if they aren't ruthless pricks. The scale of the national disaster you are facing could be something to behold, let me tell you. Notice how we didn't unveil even so much as a right wing of that Eden Stork until after your Wall Street Stock Market closed. You got lucky that time. But Monday morning is another day, and YAHWEH is God. Just what are you going to do if YAHWEH stops showing you mercy, and gives you what you deserve, as a nation, instead. Think about it. You are in a lot of danger.
Go and read the prophecy. It says there 'a loaf of bread for a days wages.' But do not touch the olive and the vine, because that is for rich people. You know, a loaf of bread for a days wages, just like happens to the poorest of the poor, who must slave all day for that miserable loaf of bread, working long hard hours because they haven't eaten for days, but must work, to get that miserable slice of bread. You just never listen, you world leaders, and you just never understand. Until its to late.
Now we gave you a break on Friday, and kept that stork thing underwraps, but Monday is another day. Ask George Bush if he remembers that divine sign and a wonder that happened to that Wall Street stock market a couple of years ago, you know, when I was forced out of my job. Remember what happened, that dirty and shamefully embarrassing little secret? You have been warned by a prophet of God, and you were warned well in advance by YESHUA. You have been warned about that Wall Street Stock Market, and I am warning you again today. You see, those voters of yours, they are no one special. Their special comforts and their special special priveleges on earth, you know, as I so often hear preachers excusing them from the pulpit, 'you live in the land blessed by God, because you finance Christian Television.' You know I used to prophecy that mad cow disease, but once I saw that 'foot in mouth' thing happenning, I thought to myself, 'well that symbolism is a lot better.' A lot better.
Just what will happen on Monday morning? Imagine just one possible scenario. The Eden Stork in full Glory unfolds its wings over that Wall Street Stock Market on Monday morning. Listen to me, all you voters out there, who always vote for the most ruthless prick, listen to my song. 'A day's wages for a loaf of bread.' Join the ranks of the very sorriest of the sorriest human beings on earth. How are you going to keep your house, all you who block the path of righteousness and mercy on earth. How will you keep your children fed? This is YAHWEH we are talking about here, so just keep that in mind.
Yes, I could spend the next year working on my Bible Commentary, but you probably wouldn't be able to find it on the web. I would be to poor to afford that.
Now I have some ideas for how to deal with this worst case scenario (the one where YAHWEH does justice on the earth, on Monday morning, on Wall Street). You know, while I am munching on my stale loaf of bread, I might start thinking, 'well, there's lots of olive and vines'. Yes, there is lots of money in the world, so why am I suffering? And why are you? Hmmm, I know. Let's get lots of 'welfare'. We will just go to those leaders of ours next week and start talking taxes, BIG BIG WORLD CHANGING TAXES on the rich, with all that money in the world all heaped up in a big pile. Well, they will never ever be able to spend all the money, and as for sitting their fat asses down on the pile so they can sit on it, well, like I said, who the hell are they. No one to me. Let's strip her naked.
And you thought Lenin was bad. You have a problem. A big problem. A really really big problem. Better kill me, not that I would mind in the least. Because you will have a problem, a big big problem, and you are bringing down upon your own heads.
Message 3, April 22, 2001 6:20 AM
Well the Sunday morning Eden Stork movies are posted. Those world leaders should be showing up at the Summit in about forty minutes, so that will give them time to study that Eden Stork movie, you know, and just consider whether or not there is enough there to go on, you know, enough to make some kind of wise decisions today. I still some mercy in that Eden Stork this morning. I still see that one large wing covering that Desert soon to be YAHWEH's Garden of Eden. Now those world leaders will have a chance to consider being just and fair and merciful themselves, sometime in the next what is it, four or five hours, before that meeting is over and they all scatter back to wherever they came from. Now, I have to be honest, in trying to be prophetic here. That just isn't likely to happen now is it. But with YAHWEH all things are possible, so you just never know.
Now I have told you people that you know nothing about mercy from those who are very powerful. Normally, in this place, as you can tell by looking out over this suffering planet, what you can expect is endless endless ruthlessness, you know, if they turn out to be lucky, as they must be so desperately hoping, and there is no God. Godlessness is always the first choice of those doing what is ruthless and evil, and with good reason, too. That is why we live in an officially godless place, where the only so called 'god' you will ever see is that ruthless prick of christian god, ruthlessly promoted by ruthless pricks, a god made for a society of ruthless pricks in the image of ruthless prick, an idol if there ever was one. That is all we have ever known from the rich or the powerful or even our own gods our own hands have so conveniently manufacture for us, to bless our ruthless deadened conduct, and call that wickedness the 'work of the holy spirit'. (like I said that god is not a coincidence - it is the god of a place like this one, that is for sure).
Yes, I have never seen mercy from the powerful in this place, and neither have you, and that is why you cannot believe. Wonderful plot cooked up by that Satan the Devil, don't you think. Makes it just about impossible for a prophet to God to walk this place, and everyone, yes, everyone, including the good, turn against a prophet of God. They consider me less than nothing. They can't hear me. Yes, even the good Christian cannot believe in YAHWEH anymore. All they can accept, all they can hear, is a ruthless prick, and that is about all they could ever ever expect. Its all they have ever known. Their ears are closed, even though they can hear. Their eyes are closed, even though they can see, and you have seen so many astonshing things, but, as the prophet Isaiah said it, you do not perceive nor understand it, nor do you recognize it when you see it. You keep calling it something else. That a man of God was a lunatic to be locked up and pumped full of pills (twice) or chased by cops, that seems to make more sense to you than the plain and simple truth, even when its right before your eyes. you have been conditioned and trained from birth by Satan the Devil, whether you believe it or not, and when a man of God comes through you do what you have been so carefully trained to do all your life, whether you realize or not. Yes, the way I am always treated plays right into the hands of that Devil, but you don't ever seem to understand what you are doing. That is why you are left to crucify people, and that is why God raises them from the dead. You need to wake up, and get away from that influence of that mind warping ruthless prick known as Satan the Devil, ands start coming back to your sanity again. To expect God to be nothing more than another ruthless prick is perverse, but such perverse thoughts dwell in the hearts of even the best Christian. They expect nothing, nor would they ever even bother to ask...
Now, just to repeat a point here, you churches have had such bad bad luck praying to YAHWEH, now haven't you. And such a ruthless prick could not actually exist, therefore a lot of you good churches have reasoned that through, given all the evidence so kindly supplied by that Satan the Devil, and you have 'rightly' concluded that given that any god in this place would have to be the universe's most cold hearted ruthless prick, and because you yourself are at least a half decent person, and know something about feelings some mercy, well you know very well how ridiculous that would be, right. There is no God, as Satan the Devil keeps telling you over and over again everyday in so many ways, by bolding throwing up ruthless prickery into your face, while mocking you with that 'godless truth' you just can never escape.
Now a suggestion. When you take that filthy and disgusting idol out of the church, and you pound that ruthless prick of thing to CHALKDUST, then you can lift up your hands in prayer to that deaf eared ruthless prick of a God of yours, and see what happens. Make sure that you do the sweet sweet surrender thing to YAHWEH, first, though, just to make sure everything is just right. You know, no advice, no critical analysis, no ignorant conjecture. Sure you have feelings, and it is alright to feel what you feel, but you need to start getting a grip on yourself, and not always let the transient feelings of the moment control your entire spiritual life, as well as determining your future. Take me for example. I want things. But I know I am powerless. I knew after that disaster of last Easter that I would be shunted aside, I would be waiting, waiting, waiting. Let's suppose you have to wait for something. Well then you will wait. Or, let's suppose that you don't want any of those Wraths of YAHWEH (kindled to full fury again and again tens of thousands of times a day for AGES PAST), well, if you really don't accept that wrath of God stuff, then rebel, and go change the world yourself. You can't, and the world will scream out in its suffering every day, day after day, while you are learning just how small a rebellious little shit like you really really is...But if you must be that rebellious, then you go save the world again, just like you did so many times before, instead of doing that sweet surrender thing I told you about before, and calling on YAHWEH, which is a way to get things done.
Now, I am not saying you should never show mercy. But you must understand this basic fact of life - where are your ancestors now? DEAD. Did they get older and older and older and kicked out of Eden? Yes. Notice the ruthless severity of judgment that comes down from God onto a planet of ruthless prickery? Now rebel and complain, oh good Christian, and then go an save the world yourself, just like you did all those times before, and never ever ever listen to a prophet, and never ever call on YAHWEH, because you know how bad those wraths of God can be.
Now let me make something clear to you. A ruthless ruined prick has no place in Eden. None. If salvation is going to come then they will be scrubbed clean with a wire brush if needed, scrubbed from head to toe, until they become like little children again, instead of those ruthless pricks that are so often adults (trained by Satan the Devil). If they must starve they will starve. If that's what it takes to get that ruthless prickery and break the influence of that Satan the Devil over their lives then they will starve and starve and starve and starve, before they ever set so much as one foot in YAHWEH's Garden of Eden. If they need to be swirled back and forth back and forth in hot blazing lava to burn the corruption off, then they will swirl and swirl and swirl until every last rotten wickedness comes off, before they ever ever set foot in the Garden of Eden. They will get older and older and weaker and sicker and suffer and die again and again, before they ever ever ever set foot in YAHWEH's Garden of Eden. What ever just judgments it takes, however much they must suffer, yes, even if the whole planet is destoyed and consumed in fires of the Wrath of God, they will do every last second of it all, before the unclean and the ruthless ever set so much as one tiny baby toe into YAHWEH's Garden of Eden. So keep that in mind, you good Christians, who won't call on YAHWEH no doubt often for that very reason. Now go save the world. Save that tragically suffering (40,000 a day) savagely hungry starved baby, and do it all yourself, because as we know you are so merciful and that is just the problem you have with that ruthless prick of a God, right. You could do better right. You haven't a clue, and yes, if there were ever a bunch of people who needed a prophet of YAHWEH, well then it would have to be you....
9:25 AM
Now I realize that (almost) no one is listening to me today, but I thought that I would go back to that old routine of mine that always worked so good for me before. I will play pretend, and talk to an imaginary ideal audience, instead of talking to people who just frustrate me to no end, and thus no doubt getting another public beating for it by YAHWEH (who told me, on purpose to go for it, when I pulled that 2 hours stunt yesterday, but only because I got bawled out the day before but unfortunately proved to be to dimwitted to understand what YAHWEH was so angry about.)
Let us suppose that someone is just such a ruthless prick, today, in the here and now, or even just enough of a ruthless prick to feel like a ruthless prick. Just stop, and YAHWEH will quickly forgive and even forget. You see, brutalized children often become brutal adults. Just stop. You can heal. You don't know that now, but you see, I shared the experience of being a ruthless prick, that cursed off dead feeling inside of having no emotions to speak of, and of just feeling like a deadened ruthless prick. I never even started to get completely cured of that until I started to get rid of that christian god, and I know that for the first time in my life, just lately, I have really laughed, and I do mean laughed, and rejoiced, and glowed all over inside, and just felt wonderfully alive, and at peace with YAHWEH as well, well, as at peace with YAHWEH as someone in my position is able to be. Let me tell you, when you are at the top in YAHWEH's universe, you really do take a pounding when you screw something up, the reason being that first of all, you are so high up, and therefore you will go low low down and over and over again. You won't come out of that thing with any glory at all, and you know, I don't care about glory, so that's fine with me, and if YAHWEH wants to be sure that you don't think me glorious, well then I am content to have been born a dimwitted idiot of some sort, if that is in fact what happenned.
Brutalized children become brutal adults, and how do you make them stop raising another generation of hard hearted deadened damaged ruined children. How do we stop all this, how do we stop tying all these impossible knots. Because you know, that Satan the Devil is a genius, compared to someone like me, and that thing ties knots let me tell you. I just get one thing figured out only to find that Satan the Devil has been one step ahead of me, and already has another knot waiting for me to screw around with, no doubt for years, maybe even decades, based on how long I got tricked by that thing before.