The Iranian Diner

Well I really am in the dog house now, what with the way I have gotten myself into big trouble with the leftist and liberal types because of my statements concerning that upcoming Iran war. You see, the way I look at things, since that Iran war is inevitable and it is going to happen one way or the other, the best thing to do under the circumstances would be to attempt to intervene in that situation and hope for the best. This point of view brings me into conflict with the classic leftist or liberal viewpoint which would be to hope for the worst. Now if it turns out to be the case that all those people in Washington thump across the world stage all hunched over with drool pouting down their chins and their knuckles dragging on the ground, then of course it will be salad days for the leftist and liberal types. This is where I run into trouble because as far as they can see I am proposing to put them on fast and take away the salad they were planning to tuck into later. I am not against them having a salad, except that in this case I took a look at the bill for that salad and it was one hell of an expensive salad. To make matters worse they weren’t planning to pay for that salad themselves but were intending to send the bill to the people of Iran and let them pay for the damn thing, and it was a very expensive salad bar tab. For that reason all the leftist and liberal types will be fasting if I have anything to say about it. After all you win some, you lose some. That’s life. George Bush wins this one, and you lose. Get used to it. After all tomorrow is another day and perhaps you can salad later, but you sure as to hell won’t be having salad right now, especially a really pricey salad like that thing and with someone else getting the shaft by being forced to pick up the tab for that delectable meal.

Now I have grown accustomed to listening to a certain amount of horseshit coming from certain leftist and liberal types over the years. Here I am referring to that really bad practice where people make an analysis in such a way that the conclusions are always foreordained so as to agree with whatever position they would like to be true rather than doing an analysis based upon the actual facts and then just accepting that analysis even if it turns out that it does piss them off. For that reason I thought that I might recommend that some people might consider shutting their mouths so as to avoid really humiliating themselves any more than might already be the case right now.

One example of a pile of such horseshit is that dire analysis you often concerning how due to the loss of those deeply beloved and much revered mullahs in Tehran violent civil unrest and waves of anger will be spreading all over the Muslim world bringing all kinds of ruin to the place for one hell of a long time. Now I would suppose that it could turn out that while the streets of Tehran were full of jubilant crowds and dancing young people celebrating the happiest day of their lives what with those damnable mullahs finally being going at the same time there would also be waves of violent civil unrest spreading all over the rest of the Muslim world for it turns out that no one could actually live with those Mullahs in their own country but it was still a fact that those mullahs could be greatly admired and deeply revered provided that they were revered from a safe distance such as from the safety of an entirely different country in which case suddenly that became possible.

For this reason I am not overly worried about all that deep dark brooding about the violent civil unrest of the entire Muslim world caused by the downfall of those Mullahs, unless of course it turns out that the Bush administration drags its knuckles over the ground and grunts while it walks, in which case it would be salad days. Some people might be in the mood for salad right now but I would prefer to go on a strict no salad diet myself because of the very high price of that salad. However should I be served salad you can be certain that since the damned thing was bought and paid for I will certainly tuck right in myself, and I am sure everyone else will as well, since there would be little point in skipping the salad when it was already delivered to your table by some chef.

I thought I would introduce a note of caution here, however, and point out to people that while it is unlikely that there will be great civil unrest all over the Muslim world there is a very high probability that there will be massive civil unrest all over the Mullah world, owing to the fact that those Mullahs have cooked up a very foul stew for themselves and now, alas, they are going to eat every bite and then finish up by licking the bottom of the bowl clean just to make sure they ate every last drop of that foul stew. This was the same foul stew they were serving other people in the past, and then suddenly, much to their shocked surprise I am sure, they found themselves slammed ass first into some chair over at some dinner while a bowl of that same foul stew was plunked down onto the table in front of them and spoon was shoved into their mouths. No one likes that sort of thing, and so therefore people should be on their guard and very aware of the great danger of a massive wave of civil unrest all over the Mullah world for that very reason.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am not an alarmist, and I don’t want to make to much of the dangerous potential threat posed by uncivily unrestful Mullahs, because it turns out that only the really stupid Mullahs who wished to have themselves identified as ruthless oppressors were to be found sitting at that table tucking into that stew while all the smart Mullahs put miles and miles and miles of distance between themselves and those collapsing Mullahs in Tehran, thus skillfully dodging a bullet that time, and sticking around and going on to preach another sermon on another Friday. This is not to say that the stupid Mullahs, after finishing their stew, will not also be found preaching more sermons on Friday, its just that in their case there wouldn’t be much point. Therefore we should just think of that whole business of preaching on a Friday as just being a hobby practiced out of habit by a very stupid Mullah.

Now another suspicious smelling piece of horseshit is that whole bit about how once those beloved Mullah’s of Tehran go down, the whole country of Iraq will go up in flames. This then would be one of those examples of how people really admired those Mullahs because they were not living in Iran, and so we would see the really odd spectacle of furious crowds rampaging through the streets of Iraq while jubilant crowds are dancing in the streets of Tehran, which will be an interesting spectacle to see I am sure. After a bit of time passes and those rampaging mobs in Iraq have a chance to think that whole business over and figure it out a little better than they did at first when they thought that they were supposed to go rioting, assuming they ever did, well I would imagine that once they realize that you are supposed to dance when some oppressor falls and not riot for those oppressors, even when the oppressors comes disguised as a Mullah, well I would expect that once those rioting Iraqis have that one figured out properly they won’t bother much with doing any rioting after that.

It has also been said that Al Sadr is preparing to start lots of rioting in Iraq the very moment those Mullah’s in Iran get in trouble. You see apparently Al Sadr is a really dumb prick and thus decided to take a bullet instead of dodging a bullet which would have been more sensible. Now should that Al Sadr be a smart character and just behave nicely and sit out the downfall of those Mullah’s in Iran, or should he demonstrate a great fondness for those Mullah’s and decide to make trouble, either way it works out just perfectly from my perspective and I am fine with it myself either way. If it turns out that he really is a dumb prick then it is just as well that he prove it thus ruining himself over time and bringing any of his possible future conniving schemes to an end, should he have been the kind of disgusting asshole that was plotting bad schemes only to wind up being surprised by a bowl of that rotten Mullah stew, which then ruined everything for him at the end of it all.

In conclusion I will make a note of the fact that those moderate Republicans have just put George Bush on notice and they have told him that he has a couple of months to make an improvement or he’s washed up as far as they are concerned. Those moderate Republicans need not worry themselves to much about how things could so very much worse given how George Bush will be surrounded by a mob of leftists and liberals, all wearing bibs and holding forks, while they wait to see if they are going to be served some of that very expensive and very pricey salad. Somehow I can’t picture George Bush playing the role of the waiter for that particular banquet, and for that reason I would imagine that if there is some Doctor Strangelove type General in charge of something or another and who is always fretfully worrying about how the Muslims might be poisoning our precious bodily fluids, he won’t be found fretfully working over Iran since it is quite likely that Bush will ship him off to watch over some base in some place like Tongo and get some General with a brain in his head to take care of that business in Iran, you know, some General who doesn’t chop vegetables and then expect George to tie on an apron and wait on tables delivering salads to waiting diners.

A Unified Field Theory

The Unified Field Theory
is also available as a zip file -> unified.zip

Introduction :The Pioneer Effect and the New Physics. A brief description of the new physics required to explain the 'Pioneer Effect', which is the constant deceleration of space craft as they fly through space.

Principles of Evolution: A Study in the Evolution of Bedbugs