An American Coup D'etat

The Allah Octopus

As I continue my march towards martyrdom by provoking the wrath of the Islamic Religious Right I thought I might be real provocative by examining the doings and the ideology of the Allah Octopus, for you see that octopus in Tehran is the Octopus of Allah, or so we re told is the case.

Now if an Allah Octopus is to be an Octopus of Allah then it must conquer the world. But there are rules to this game of world conquest for Allah. According to the rules first you must write letters inviting the world to accept Islam. As some might recall George Bush and the American people received on such letter inviting them to accept Islam. Now later on when Allah’s Octopus finally reaches America, which could be in the year 2150, or perhaps sooner if the Mahdi arrives, it will then be time to lop off the heads of the Americans for they received their invitation to Islam, did not accept the invitation, and so therefore it is time to lop off their heads. According to the end times ideology of the Islamic Religious Right, this is how it is supposed to work, and I thought I would mention that bit about getting your head chopped off in 2050, or sooner, just depending on how it all works out, since you Americans might have thought that you were just getting some weird letter when actually you were getting the required Islamic Religious Right end times invitation to join Islam before the invading hordes invaded your shores to chop your heads off.

Now this poses an interesting problem, for since it is the end times for the Islamic Religious Right, we have to wonder just how their murderous hordes are supposed to achieve world conquest. The strategy seems to be roughly as follows. First they seize a modern nation state. Then they spread out Octopus arms into many countries, so they can begin to spread the ideas of that octopus, or at least try to spread those ideas, for as we know there is a lot of competition out there, but the octopus would hope to do better than most because now it was an octopus with a modern nation state, thus having a track record of conquering at least one country in the world if not the whole world quite yet. Next the octopus must go nuclear, so that it can conquer the rest of the remaining world. This part will take one hell of a long time because of strangulation caused by sanctions, but after what I am sure was a painfully frustrating and long wait, the opportunity to bust those sanctions and go nuclear finally arrived. Once it becomes a nuclear octopus it will then become a very aggressive and quite reckless octopus, this we can predict because it has already been quite a reckless octopus even without nukes, having become quite brave because it had so many octopus arms stretched out over the world. After becoming a reckless nuclear octopus it will then become an oil well octopus. Then it will become an octopus with all the money it needs to finance world conquest as is required for any Allah Octopus in the end times.

Now it must be frustrating for an Allah Octopus to think about those warnings about peak oil at a time when that octopus has not yet gone nuclear, and I am sure that this anxiety must drive the octopus forward with great haste so that it can have at least ten or twenty years of oil left over which might then provide enough cash coming in to finance world domination.

This strategy is starting to look less than likely to succeed and so therefore an octopus needs a fresh new strategy, thus skipping that part about going nuclear and just stepping on the gas pedal and getting something going right now.

I would like to suggest that an Allah Octopus should just be an Allah Octopus, for after all, what Octopus belonging to Allah requires nukes or oil money to fulfill the last days end times prophecies? Now under the right historic circumstances that octopus might have become a nuclear octopus and it might have become an oil octopus but it will never, ever become an Allah Octopus but rather it will become a brainless octopus, having had the brains beaten and pounded right out of its octopus head.

The coup d’etat

Because of the gravity of the current crisis situation facing America there is a good possibility that George Bush will become Caesar and that it is Caesar, rather than the American people, who will go to war against Iran. Now given how unwise it would be to give Iraq to that octopus so that it can grow a new head and then become a fantastically attractive two headed octopus, and given the constant acts of war having already taken place between these two countries over the last few years, and given the rising public anger and the increasingly angry and insistent demand to leave Iraq coming from the American people, it is apparent that an escalation in this conflict is inevitable, and could take place at very short notice.

Now a great victory for Caesar might be good for George Bush but it would be a disaster for America, since America requires a return to Democracy and does not need any rising flood tide of Caesar worship to lead that nation down the road to ruin.

Often the public is kept in the dark about certain things that are kept top secret. I believe in transparency and so I thought I would share with the American people some very secret information that you might know about so that you can know about it, thus helping you to make sense of what you see going on around you, because you will have more pieces of the puzzle.

In order to deal with this disturbing Caesar problem I have pulled a bit of coup d’etat so that while George Bush might be Caesar he will be a sawed off Caesar, rather than a mighty Caesar, for this is America, and should a Caesar ever appear in America he should be a sawed off Caesar.

As you know, a coup d’etat occurs when the military overthrows the government. Now technically speaking, that has not happened, but given how much support I would have within the military, and given that George Bush has almost no support in the military, that counts as a kind of coup d’etat. It may be said that George Bush is commander in Chief, but actually I believe that the American people are commander in chief, and that is the American people who set foreign policy objectives and stipulate the means and the ends, not some dangerous Caesar in high places. Therefore I am performing as a kind of proxy for the American people, setting goals and establishing policy objectives and spelling out the strategic means and ends. Now it is true that George Bush, being commander in Chief, could veto all my proposals, but he would be doing so at his peril, for when the American people discovered that he vetoed my proposals which I was making as the proxy for the American people in their temporary absence, that will be a problem. Furthermore, when someone does a coup d’etat that means that they more or less take over the military, and so that means that George Bush has the problem of trying to convince an unwilling military to do this that or the other. Now hopefully this process will purge the American public of that really bad idea of some guy in some office somewhere being ‘the commander in chief’ which is just a ruinous policy for the country as you can see, while having democracy, for which I am a proxy, brings much wiser policy decisions. One of the reasons why democracy produces better decisions is that in a democracy you get less problems with those mixed motives. The only reason why some politician wants to keep the power of ‘commander in chief’ restricted to the oval office is so that he can get away with some bad things that no one else in the country will ever agree with, and then this results in a disaster, such as we see in Iraq. The public could be convinced to liberate people from a dictator but when the so called ‘war on terrorism’ degenerates and becomes just one more example of that ‘American Imperialism’ the result is a brutal quagmire led by a crippled eunich, which is what George Bush and the entire political infrastructure of the nation have become right along with him.

One of the consequences of this Iraq War disaster is going to be that there will never again be seen in America a ‘commander in chief’ sitting in some office, whether that office be oval shaped or any other shape there might be. The day to day operations on some battle field are best left to the experts, but the broad overall goals will nevder again be entrusted to some guy in some office somewhere, which will ensure that the goals pursued by the American military are noble and good rather than being compromised by the political calculus of one man, with mixed motives, who can get away with such compromises because he is just one man and therefore only needs to get approval from himself.

So then it will be interesting to watch George Bush feud with his Generals about his obviously ruinous policy of further brutal oppression targeting the Iraqi resistance fighters, while all his Generals are more loyal to me and my much more intelligent plans, which has been the result of my little coup d’etat in Washington, D.C. You see, unlike George Bush I give the American military back their honor while George insists on taking it away to no long term purpose, for his plans are never, ever going to succeed, for George Bush is not really fighting a war against terrorism, and I am. So you can see the difference there and so can all your Generals.

To summarize the point, I am willing to accept George Bush as a sawed off Caesar, provided that he does what I tell him as proxy for the American people, for this is America, remember, and this is a democracy, and while it is true that America has never had a coup d’etat before, this time she really needed one and so she got one.

If George Bush is making a problem and if it would appear that George does not want victory in the war against terrorism but that he has other plans, then I recommend that the whole impeachment process that was signaled by those Moderate Republicans when they gave George time to change his ways be swung into high gear so as to get that George Bush out of there, because it would have become obvious that the man is incapable of doing anything decent and right.

The plans of George W. Bush to escalate the oppression against the resistance fighters in Iraq will of course be a disaster for that resistance battle will go on and on and on forever, for America is not a liberator in Iraq, rather America is an imperialist power, and imperialists powers do not fight the ‘war on terror’, they fight imperialist wars and such wars are never ending. The American people have already spoken concerning that Iraq war and as the Iraq war continues so to does your nation crumble and crash and fall into ruins with all her institutions discredited and held in contempt. America is a democracy. Someone tell this to George W. Bush.

As our military command would understand, it is impossible to fight a war without an effective propaganda campaign, and this war in Iraq is a fiasco because it is a propaganda fiasco, and it is a propaganda fiasco because it is not, nor could it ever be, part of some ‘war against terror’ but rather it is an imperialist war.

The Half Assed Rather Reluctant Nazi Party

Just recently, due to the gravity and seriousness of the present situation, I experienced what it is like to become a Nazi. Yes, that’s right. As terror gripped me due to the collapse of democracy in America, and as I saw the American people about to participate in a ruinous fiasco by giving Iraq to the militant extremists now in charge in Iran, a huge storm wind came up and filled my sails and blew me through stormy seas to a new and very strange place. It was Caesar land. It was a very disorienting experience, but very, very informative and revealing. I now understand why people ran off after Caesar and why they ran off after Hitler, for when ruinous destruction comes upon a people and democracy has collapsed, people are driven by an overpowering overwhelming gust of wind right into the arms of Caesar, or even Hitler. Or perhaps George Bush.

It took me some time to get over my disorientation after having had that bizarre experience, and the option I have settled upon is that I have become a card carrying member of the HARRNP, the Half Assed Rather Reluctant Nazi Party.

Now let me share another bit of top secret information with you, the American people. We of the HARRNP have our people planted everywhere in your government. We are in all your departments and institutions waiting, waiting for the moment of extreme crisis to arrive, at which time we will swing into full gear and take over your government in a sudden and unexpected coup d’etat. There isn’t a damn thing you can do about this, American people, for we have so many people planted here and planted there that we effectively control entire departments and our influence is growing over your military forces, and with the military on board there will be nothing stopping us.

Now I believe in transparency and so therefore I am going to tell you, the American people, all about the plans of HARRNP. First we are going to take the Constitution of the United States, and we are going to shove it right up your backsides. Remember we are Nazis, even if we are only half baked nazis. Then next we are going to take the country right straight to war and deal with that fucking emergency situation properly and once and for all right on the spot. That’s right, it will be a totally undemocratic war, the worst kind, and won’t the American people just be supremely pissed off. It will also be a totally unconstitutional war, because remember, we shoved that constitution up your butt, because we are half assed Nazis, and thus you should expect us to do these things. And when all your departments have been infiltrated by such half assed Nazis you should expect nothing to interfere with the smooth operations of our little overthrow of your entire system.

Once we get done warring, you can pull your constitution out of your butt and go back to having a government again, for we are only half assed Nazis, and our goal is the salvation of America not her destruction. If you never want to see another set of half assed Nazis taking over your government at some time in the future the best thing to do would be to become a civil society where policies are discussed and decisions made thoughtfully so that in the future people once again put their trust in democracy instead of being driven to terror by the reckless ruin being brought down upon their heads by an uncivil society and its reckless ruinous policy prescriptions.

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